Most great men with mustaches aren't one trick ponies. In fact, the
term Renaissance Man was coined to describe one of the greatest Mustachioed men in history, Leonardo DaVinci.
That said, while the mustache has existed since the inception of shaving,
mustaches really hadn't learned how to kick ass until America adopted the
lip-sweater as standard issue for every bad mother fucker with a two fists
and a revolver. No time, or man, exemplifies this mentality better than the
Great Mustachioed Man of the American wild west: Wyat Earp.
Mr. Earp was a farmer, teamster, buffalo hunter, gambler, saloon keeper, miner, boxing referee, and, of course, infamous Law Man.
Wyatt and his brothers got together with their boy Doc Holiday for a little party called the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral... you might have heard of it. Ya see, Wyatt and his mustache lived in a different, better time. A time where problems were solved with violence and blood shed. A time when credit scores didn't mean shit, but Mustache envy could cause a man to kill. Earp's mustache was so amazing, not only could it drive a man to murder, it was actually questioned in a number of murders itself.
Of course, Wyatt's wasn't the only mustache in the bunch. In fact, most of his crew wore theirs like a suit of armor... as kevlar hadn't been invented yet, and what the fuck else was there around to use?
Wyatt and his brothers got together with their boy Doc Holiday for a little party called the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral... you might have heard of it. Ya see, Wyatt and his mustache lived in a different, better time. A time where problems were solved with violence and blood shed. A time when credit scores didn't mean shit, but Mustache envy could cause a man to kill. Earp's mustache was so amazing, not only could it drive a man to murder, it was actually questioned in a number of murders itself.
Of course, Wyatt's wasn't the only mustache in the bunch. In fact, most of his crew wore theirs like a suit of armor... as kevlar hadn't been invented yet, and what the fuck else was there around to use?
Shown without mustache: Wyatt's ugly sister
Eventually, Wyatt died of cancer in his prostate... though that's not where it started. Initially, he had skin cancer, but when he discovered the tumor, his mustache scared it into hiding. Safely within the dark recesses of his anus... the cancer finally found the safety to work.
The mustache could have kept him safe indefinetely, but Wyatt had just gotta bikini wax, and had no butt-stache to fend off such an attack.
The mustache could have kept him safe indefinetely, but Wyatt had just gotta bikini wax, and had no butt-stache to fend off such an attack.
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